May 12, 2006
by Robin Harobin
Divorce is tough. It is difficult to say the
least, for some people to re-enter the dating world.
As children of divorced parents, you can help by giving
your mom or dad the extra little boost they need to
start dating again.
Be sensitive to their feelings. It is important to
be sensitive to their feelings when approaching them
with this subject. Let your parent know that you are
behind them, that you are supportive of their decision
to date again and you will be to answer questions and
give advice.
Let them know that life must go on. Continuing
to grieve a lost marriage is unhealthy and potentially
damaging. If you must use the old adage, are plenty
of fish in the sea” then use it.
Let them know that it is possible to recapture love
again. By beginning to date again, they are opening
themselves up to the possibilities of fulfillment in
a new relationship.
Learn from the Past. Remind them to use their past
experiences and mistakes as learning lessons for the
future. At this point it should be clear as to
what worked and what didn't work in the marriage.
This can prove to be their greatest advantage as they
can use these insights they gained in the selection
process of possible future dates.
Take it slow. After a divorce, it is possible
for a person to feel vulnerable, unloved and needy.
It is important for them to establish relationships
based on compatibility and respect rather than urgency
and availability. Help them to be choosy when
deciding to date someone. Let them know that it
is okay to say no to someone.
Help them out. In many instances, a parent may
be dating again after several years of married life.
It may be necessary to get in ' with some up to
date words of wisdom, fashion styles or details on the
current trends. Support them in the decision making
process and help them screen potential dates and make
their ultimate selections. Help them to become aware
of the newest, most convenient way to meet
someone. Show them the secrets of online dating
and let them go to it.
Most importantly, remember during this process that the
most important thing to give them is support, honesty
and love. During difficult
times it may feel impossible for them. Let them
know that they are valued and loved. Remind them
that they are worthy of being loved and respected.
It is only a matter of time before they'll end
up finding that special person who will treat them like
the Queen or King you already know they are.
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