May 19, 2006
When is the Right Time to Introduce Your Children to
Your New Companion?
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By Jillian Gates
You've hit the dating scene as a single parent
and feel you just may have succeeded in finding that
new special someone to share your life with. Your new
partner is aware you have children and accepts that
they will be part of your life together. Unfortunately,
the hard part is not over. It's now time to introduce
them to your children. Before you even think of introducing
them there are several things you may want to consider.
1. When is the right time to introduce them to your
children? While that is ultimately your decision, it
is best to only introduce them to your children if you
feel there is a chance for a serious, long-term relationship
on the horizon. Children can be sensitive to new people
and hurt if the person is expected to be a new permanent
feature of their lives only to leave shortly thereafter.
2. Make sure you really trust them with your children.
You only want the best for them and that would be someone
who is a positive role model and treats both you and
them with the utmost respect.
3. The first meeting between your new partner and your
children will naturally be a bit uncomfortable for both
sides. In order to minimize the stress, try not to have
extreme expectations of an immediate connection. While
you've had plenty of time to get to know them
they've only just met.
4. Try introducing them on the children's turf.
Make the children the focus of the day's events
and express that your new friend wants to be there and
spend time with them. Being a single parent is complicated
in numerous ways. Combining your dating life with your
children's is just one example. Be positive but
don't expect a miracle. These things take time.
The least amount of pressure for all involved the better.
Let their relationship build in a natural progression
just like yours did. Make sure you see the situation
from both sides and set realistic expectations. As with
anything in life, do what you think is right and rely
on your inner voice to guide you along the way.
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