May 5, 2006
By Jillian Gates
Dating can be a wonderful and exciting time in one's
life. The newness, the possibilities, and the hope that
this could be “the one” can create a euphoric
feeling. The thoughts of you and that special someone
conquering life and all its ups and downs as a team
can be elating. Dating as a single parent entails all
of these feelings and emotions but with one added caution.
Everything you do affects not only you but your children
as well.
When entering the dating scene as a single parent you
must be ready to be honest and open about your situation.
Honesty is always the best policy. There would be nothing
more awkward than dating someone for a period of time
and then casually mentioning you have a child. Your
children are the biggest part of your life and should
be expressed that way. Parenthood is part of who you
are and only to be admired, not hidden.
When searching for that special someone there are additional
qualities you should be looking for that other singles
without children may not be. The most important thing
is to be sure the other person likes kids and accepts
them as part of your life. Lack of enthusiasm about
children or an utter displeasure about anything involving
children is a major red flag. Someone who incorporates
your children into some of your dates and shows excitement
to see them is a great sign.
Keep a checklist in your head of things you're
looking for but don't overdue it. Don't
constantly examine the date as if they will someday
be a parent to your child. People without kids don't
have the same knowledge about family life as those of
us who do. Just remember to keep an open mind and give
them a chance. It's a date not an interview.
Many single parents on the dating scene tend to feel
some guilt. There's always the thought that you
are being selfish by spending time away from your children,
especially with a date. Everyone deserves to be happy,
even a single parent. Just because you have children
doesn't mean you are any less deserving of adult
time and adult feelings.
Single parenthood is a tough job full of responsibilities
and emotions. Starting over and trying to find a partner
to share your life with can be a difficult experience.
If you simply view it as a chance to meet people and
enjoy some grown up time it will put less pressure on
you and your date, leaving less room for disappointment.
Most of all, remember to be honest and open minded.
There are so many people out there who admire single
parents, love kids, and would love to share time with
you. Go out and enjoy yourself!
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